Why girls kiss girls

     We all know that girls are complicated, but it just makes them more fun to watch. If girls were just guys with vaginas, life would be pretty boring. It’s these complicated people, doing complicated things, for complicated reasons, that gives life pleasure and zest. Weather they are taking too long getting dressed, making your favorite dish in the kitchen, or making all your friends drool, standing there in her shorty shorts. Women do things that demand attention and make us think/feel/do . . .things.

     Luckily for us kissing each other is one of the intriguing things they do. It demands our attention on all levels. It’s sexual; check. It’s feminine; check. It has breasts; double check! But there’s no pay-off on their side. This confuses us. Yes we like it; no, we don’t understand it. And so it goes with women. 

I’ve used my earth leveling powers of research and reason to deduce the answer from real people on the internet, and came up with 7 possible answers to the simple question, “Why do girls kiss each other?”

1.    Lesbian -  it’s a fact that some women are in fact lesbians, and given that there are at least 5 other reasons why straight girls make out, this would be the least shocking way to experiment with their sexuality in a public place. Like a bar, or college library, or sitting on the grass in between classes with Sarah Michelle Geller. Actually being gay may be inherent, or may be a choice, I have no idea which. I am not a lesbian. (skip joke about being a lesbian trapped in a man’s body) If I were though, I would have to make a choice about if, and/or, when I would make this burning desire to have other women in my mouth known to the people around me. Making out with a hottie in my study group might be a way to ease everyone into the idea of me being gay. (skip joke about short hair and polo shirts). In this case because other girls act on the other reasons listed here, actual gay girls feel more comfortable doing what they want to do. Since the Bar-curious, and the Lipstick-Lezies hook-up in public, it’s now common place, or at lease, a little less shocking to see, or hear about two girls making out in the library. She’s not seeking attention from a guy but rather a girl, possibly any girl, possibly the one she’s had a crush on since the 9^th grade. Who cares, because the straight girls are locking lips, gay gal feels a little more free to go for first base with someone she’s attracted to. Everyone wins.

2.    Bi-curious – So a girl is dating guys and she likes them but . . . girls look so nice, she wonders what it would be like to touch one, taste one, gently caress her neck. She’s by all definitions, bi-curious. She’s not a lesbian and by all accounts she likes/would like, sex partners with penises, but she’s curious as to what it would be like to be with a sex partner that has no penis, and maybe some boobs, and a respectable shoe collection.  She doesn’t know that she’s a lesbian (this is a good indicator she’s not), but she just can’t get it out of her head. Especially since it’s so trendy now (see no. 5) and her best friend did it when she was drunk the other night at the bar (see no. 3) and she does remember back in middle school when she practiced with her friends at a sleepover (see no. 6) so why not find a willing accomplice and give it a whirl. Maybe she’ll find out she does like to have women in her mouth, and even if she doesn’t it’ll be a good story to tell her friends (See nos. 4 and 7)

3.    Bar Curious – This term refers to girls that get drunk and hook-up with other girls at bars and in public places while in some state of intoxication. But girls are complicated and the affects of alcohol are subjective so the presence of alcohol is not the only factor here. The ethanol coursing through the young girls veins only lowers her inhibitions. To find the underlying reason of a same-sex kiss you would most likely find that it’s one, or more, of the other factors working here, (see nos. 1,2,4,5,6, or 7) and not the half liter of vodka and tray of Jello shots, you two just “shared”.

4.    It’s Fun – I know from first hand experience that it is quite fun to kiss a girl. I’ve done it several times with several girls, and let me tell you, it’s nice. The differences for her, such as the “soft girl mouth” feeling, the lack of scratchy facial hair, and soft sensuality inherent to most women, are obvious enough. I’m told that females’ tongues have a softer texture than those of us who own penises.  And there’s no denying the . . . girliness factor. Girls are more sensual, soft, and better smelling than the rest of us, and who wouldn’t want to put their mouth on something like that? That’s all fine and good, and I can appreciate the soft, round, sensual pleasure of a woman’s body, but a lot of the fun is bragging about it later. Getting the undivided attention of your friends while you tell a story about doing something they haven’t done is as rewarding as, if not more than, touching and tasting and licking a woman. Guys do it. Half the fun of hooking up at a party is high-fiving your bros the next day about hooking up at a party. So they do it for kicks. They get the fun of kissing a girl, and the added benefit of telling people about it after the fact. (See no. 7)

5.    Lipstick Lessies (Pop-Culture) - Girls do what other girls do. To be more precise, girls do what more popular girls do. So the fact that many famous celebrity women are hooking up with each other these days means several, otherwise precocious, young ladies might hook-up with their buddies in order to get points on the popular meter. This would lead to other less-popular girls hooking up with each other, and so on and so forth. Eventually, you have all the girls hooking up with all the other girls and then they have to move on to different ways to shock their parents into loving them. The same way Madonna and Britney Spears tried to shock us all into loving them at the VMA’s or the way Katey Perry shocked over 20 countries into loving her with “I Kissed a Girl”(and they liked it). With celebrities sucking face in everyone’s faces the act becomes popular and somewhat commonplace, yet no less shocking to parents, and loved ones, when they find out sweet little Janey and sweet little Patricia were sharing lipstick after biology class.

6.    Practice – This is sometimes posed as a myth but they swear they practice on each other. It happened in that movie with Sarah Michelle Geller. (insertyoutube clip form cruel intentions) and this lady interviewed several 14-16 year old girls who said they practiced on each other. Why would they do this? The obvious answer to this question is that they feel more comfortable with sexual exploration around their friends. The friends they talk about boys with, the friends that are going through the same physiological changes as them, the friends they readily relate to. Of course they are curious about kissing. They see it on TV, the Internet, (See no.5) read about it in the books on the reading list at school. It’s in their faces all the time and they want to try it. So if they get the chance to kiss anyone outside their immediate family they go for it. It would seem that this is purely platonic, and I have no doubt that it is. Like that time you made out with a fat/ugly/weird chick because you were in the middle of a dry spell and she was the best thing you had going at the time. There are no emotional developments emerging here. Your not switching to fat/ugly/weird chicks for life. You just want to kiss someone, anyone.

7.    Attention – The all-encompassing currency that all things woman boils down to. It’s how we make them happy. If they care about you, they care more about your attention. It’s how you keep your mom happy, your wife happy, your girlfriend happy, you can even make your buddy’s girlfriend happy by giving her a little of it. If a girl is feeling like she might need a little attention (see nos. 2-6)  and looking for a good time (see no. 4 again) and due to the recent popularity (see no. 5 again) of girls kissing and the overall advances in same sex couples (see no. 1) she can always walk up to the drunkest chick in the room (see no. 3) and plant one right on the ol’ kisser. It’s guaranteed that she’ll be showered with attention as her parents find out and scold her, as her friends intently listen to her well crafted story about her promiscuity, as her boyfriend quizzes her on the details and what she liked about it. She’ll practically glow as she sheepishly fields questions from co-workers who heard about her night of indiscretion, and if she comes across any unwanted attention she can always play it off with something to the tune of “I was really drunk, and it just. . .happened.