Do you be Ratchet?

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The first time I heard the word ratchet, I played it off really well. I wasn’t completely sure of what my friend was saying about the loud group of people behind me. I went along with it.

“Yeah, they are ratchet!” Whew! No one noticed.

Since that day I’ve heard the word a lot. Usually, but not necessarily, referring to black people. But it’s not a race thing. It crosses all lines of race, gender, nationality, and even class.

Here are some activities that are considered ratchet.

-       -Owning a Blackberry
-Enjoying the music of: Drake, 2Chainz, Nicki Minaj, Gucci Mane, Waka-Flocka, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Cali Swag District etc.
-Rowdily quoting "lyrics" from aforementioned artists
-Repeated use of ludicrous terms such as "YOLO", "swag", "boost", "beaking", "doe", "really", "naw", "actually", "twerk", "coaster", "dagga", etc.

Activities that my friends and I are completely comfortable in admitting to.  YOLO!

Some sites claim that the word “ratchet” comes from a mispronounced “wretched”, as in “that girl is a wretched whore.” But wretched just means poor, unfortunate, or just plain bad. Ratchet is like the new “crunk”. Acting bad and not giving a Fuck.

I took some online surveys to see if I was Ratchet. Though I only scored 24% ratchetness on one of the survays it still called me a “Super Duper Ratchet” but with questions like:

12. Do you be called a ratchet all the time?

I hardly feel they be knowin’ what th’ fuk they talkin’ ‘bout.

Another one gave me the following response:

Ratchet

A freak in the sheets and in the streets. Fancy means drinking your malt liquor from a glass, not the can.

This was disappointing.

Here’s a more helpful demonstration of ratchetocity I came up with. A helpful scale of one to ten . . .

1.     Mother Theresa
         - Quite
         - Well – Mannered
         - Godly
         - Took a vow never to have sex

2.     Queen of England
         - Quite
         -Well Mannered

3.     Hillary Clinton
         - Well Mannered

4.     Modanna
         - Well Mannered
         - Exploits sex for money

5.     -Paris Hilton
         -Exploits sex for fame
         -Dresses like a high class prostitute
         -Acts like a fool for the fuck-of-it

6.     Britney Spears
         -Exploits sex for money
         -Dresses like a low-class prostitute
         -Acts like a fool for the fuck-of-it
         -Is un-educated and classless

7.     – Rhianna
         -Exploits sex for money
         -Dresses like a prostitute
         -Acts like a fool for the fuck-of-it
         -Is un-educated and classless
         -Identifies with people of the ghetto community

8.     - Whitney Houston
         -Liked to do hoodrat things
         -Was un-educated and classless
         -Was openly addicted to narcotics
         - Acted like a fool for the fuck-of-it
         -Identified with the ghetto community

9.     -Nicky Manaj
         -Is loud and annoying
         -Is uneducated and classless
         -2 chainz has her girl on molly (now they smokin’ loud, and drankin’)

10.  –Pinky
         -Is loud and annoying
         -Likes to do hood-rat thangs
         -Is uneducated and classless
         -Will have sex with you for money

So if ratchet is being a loud trashy slut of a person (males can absolutely be ratchet) then why do we celebrate it so much? Just ask Latarian Milton. Ratchet means being loud, doing hoodrat things with your friends, and not givin’ a fuck. It’s fun to do hood-rat things.

So if your at a club, or Walmart, or whatever and get the feeling to start acting ratchet, don’t worry. Think of Latarian and do hoodrat thangs wit’ cho friends. But don’t make it a way of life. There’s a fine line between acting ratchet, and being ratchet.