Don't be Hatin'

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Gossip, Talking Shit, Spreading Rumors, it’s all hate. And in the words of LMFAO “Hatin’ is bad”. Hate is a form of anger, which has been clinically proven to shorten your life. It triggers lots of things to happen in your body the same way fear does. These responses are normal but if you have a long history of hating, you can expect some of these as your reward for your years of resentment. Weakened heart, stiff arteries, liver and kidney damage, high cholesterol, and let’s not forget about anxiety and depression. A study found that chronic hatin’ can make you twice as likely to have coronary artery disease and three times more likely to have a heart attack. I wish for the sake of all the haters out there that these were the only side effects to wishing ill upon others, but it’s not. There are worse things in store for the chronic shade-thrower.

Think about your favorite hater. Everyone has one. Do they seem successful to you? Do they have everything they want in life? Do they seem happy? I doubt it. The fact is the more hate you give the more hate you get in return. Negativity has that affect. By talking shit about your co-worker, you have successfully labeled yourself as a shit-talker. This does a couple things.  First, it sends out negative vibes to all those around you. Don’t believe in vibes? Okay, well if the person you’re talking about has any friends in your audience, consider yourself ejected from the circle. Also even the ones laughing with you and joining in know that if you ever see a weak trait in them, you will hate. So yeah, negative vibes.

The way we build relationships is to share. We share little parts of ourselves with each other. For example, I show you that I love Miley Cyrus, and you show me that your Itunes has every release, remix , and cover of every Britney Spears song EVER. We don’t tell other people these little secrets. We share with each other. That’s the bond. However, if you share this in a negative way, and find yourself hating on me because of my Miley mania, you can pretty much consider all bonds broken. All further sharing is stopped. You are not my friend.

“Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up.”
― Habeeb Akande

Why would why would anyone do such a thing? Well, analysis concludes that it is in fact not jealousy. It looks and smells like jealousy, but the fact is haters have flaws. Flaws they don’t want other people to know about, or criticize. Flaws they feel ashamed of. Hating is how they deal with it. Instead of confessing proudly that they have all seasons of Glee on Blueray neatly displayed in a little shrine next to their TV, they instead talk shit about how fill in the blank I must be to enjoy bubblegum pop music like “Party in the U.S.A.”

“Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves;
because you're a reflection of what they wish to be”
― Yaira N

Passing judgment, makes them the judge, jury and executioner. This puts them in a position of power and allows them to be seen as without flaw. . . in there own mind. To other people they look like a catty, little shit-talker, that has no right to judge other people and will not think twice about making anyone look bad. They will not be invited to the party.

Of course, I know that you have never hated on anyone. As long as somewhere in your list of titles is THE DALAI LAMMA, or POPE, or maybe your name is Jesus Christ, Buda or Ras Mohamed. Otherwise you’re guilty. We all hate from time to time. We all have insecurities we’d rather other people didn’t know about. We all get to feeling better than someone and want other people to know it.

Here’s how to stop hating.

First you have to realize your insecurities. You have to know that your problem is YOUR PROBLEM. It’s not my fault Rakita chose me, and  telling everyone I’m “just a player” and “prolly got syphilis” isn’t going to change the fact that Rakita is all about me, and don’t want nothin’ to do with you. You need to find someone sensible to talk to about the problem. Not your catty, bitchy, hater-friends, but someone with some sense. Maybe your mamma or daddy, or grandmother, someone with the balls to call you on your bullshit, and tell you that Rakita don’t want nothing to do with some shit-talking little bitch.

“Those who think he had lucky breaks are not only unaware of the real story but also fall prey to that sin of the mediocre: bitchiness about others’ success”
― Marlon James

When you find yourself talking about people that aren’t in the room, ask yourself if you would continue the sentence if they were in the room. If not, sorry, you be hating. At this point you need to examine your problem with the person. Why don’t you like them? What have they ever done to you? What would it take for you to wish them well? Some people say writing about it is a good exercise. Writing lets you get your hate out without causing any real damage. You don’t have to write it all down, but take a step back. Think about how your negative attitude is making you feel. Ask yourself why you hate, and then decide not to do it anymore. Then wish good things for people. Once your able to wish the hated person well, you can then know that you have stopped being a hater.

And what if you’re the one getting all the hate? Same thing. Don’t hate back. Pity the poor hater, and wish him well.

“Don't think for one minute that you are any less worthy of love and peace and harmony just because of all the hate spewed by human devils. Because that is what those haters are, you know, devils!”
― Scylar Tyberius, Sebastian the Great